69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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