So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
