everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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