I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
