Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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