I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
