she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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