Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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