Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.