Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He better not be in your backpack
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.