you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor