Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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