I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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