ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
