I skipped work to stalk him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
