After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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