is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
