this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
