I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
