I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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