PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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