im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
