so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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