i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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