Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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