Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize