Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
