garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
