im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
