Moan for me like Helen Keller
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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