True but thats because hes a fetus.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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