so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
