is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
