I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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