I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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