our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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