she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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