I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
