If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
