she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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