Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
