Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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