You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
