Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I could fuck to npr.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
