Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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