how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
