Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize