Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
