I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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