Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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