i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
