try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
