i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
