Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
