Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
