K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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