She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
