I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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