In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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