As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
