Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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