The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
