I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
